Sexual Development and Behavior in Young Children

Sexual Development and Behavior in Young Children

Development of sexuality is an integral part of the development and maturation of children. A range of sensational, emotional and consequent sexual activities that may occur before or during early puberty, but before full sexual maturity is established. The development of child sexuality is influenced by social and cultural aspects; the perception of developing child sexuality is even more heavily influenced by cultural aspects. Like all forms of human development, sexual development begins at birth. Sexual development includes not only the physical changes that occur as children grow, but also the sexual knowledge and beliefs they come to learn and the behaviors they show. Any given child’s sexual knowledge and behavior is strongly influenced by:

The child’s age1-3 What the child observes (including the sexual behaviors of family and friends) What the child is taught (including cultural and religious beliefs concerning sexuality and physical boundaries)

Very young and preschool-aged children (four or younger) are naturally immodest, and may display open—and occasionally startling--curiosity about other people’s bodies and bodily functions, such as touching women’s breasts, or wanting to watch when grownups go to the bathroom. Wanting to be naked (even if others are not) and showing or touching private parts while in public are also common in young children. They are curious about their own bodies and may quickly discover that touching certain body parts feels nice. (For more on what children typically do at this and other ages.

As children age and interact more with other children (approximately ages 4–6), they become more aware of the differences between boys and girls, and more social in their exploration. In addition to exploring their own bodies through touching or rubbing their private parts (masturbation), They may also ask more questions about sexual matters, such as where babies come from, and why boys and girls are physically different.

Once children enter grade school (approximately ages 7–12), their awareness of social rules increases and they become more modest and want more privacy, particularly around adults. Although self touch (masturbation) and sexual play continue, children at this age are likely to hide these activities from adults. Curiosity about adult sexual behavior increases—particularly as puberty approaches—and children may begin to seek out sexual content in television, movies, and printed material. Telling jokes and “dirty” stories is common. Children approaching puberty are likely to start displaying romantic and sexual interest in their peers.

Some childhood sexual behaviors indicate more than harmless curiosity, and are considered sexual behavior problems. Sexual behavior problems may pose a risk to the safety and well-being of the child and other children.

Educating Children about Sexual Issues

Just because a behavior is typical doesn’t mean the behavior should be ignored. Often, when children participate in sexual behavior it indicates that they need to learn something. Teach what the child needs to know, given the situation. In this case, for example, the parent might teach the children that it’s okay to be curious about other people’s bodies, but that private parts should be kept private, even with friends.

Although children usually respond well when parents take the time to give them correct information and answer their questions, it is important to provide information that is appropriate to the child’s age and developmental level.

Too often, children get the majority of their sexual education from other children and from media sources such as television shows, songs, movies, and video games. Not only is this information often wrong, it may have very little to do with sexual values that parents want to convey. Controlling media exposure and providing appropriate alternatives is an important part of teaching children about sexual issues.